Being judged on your appearance.

I cannot deny just how wrong it is to judge someone on their appearance only. We all know that looks matter. We also know however, that looks shouldn't be the only thing that matters. Unfortunately what most of us don’t understand is just how much looks matter, and how difficult it is for us to ignore a person’s appearance when making a social judgment. I’m not talking just about romantic interests and relationships I’m talking about all our human interactions with others around us on daily basis. And by appearance, I’m not speaking simply of the  beauty dimension, but also of many other qualities of one’s appearance.

We are all judged on our looks, how we carry ourselves and our wardrobe in one way or another everyday by people/strangers we pass by and come across while going about and basically living our life. No matter how shallow this seems, it is a fact. There is no escaping that. We all do it to others around us mostly uncounciously and sometimes very consciously. Even when we don't have any intention to be shallow we still do it.....and others do it to us. We decide to whom we wish to approach and talk to, associate with, perhaps hire or maybe even try to become friends or more with ....within few seconds of seeing them. Not exactly enough time to get a know an individual at all. In a very very similar fashion we also make snap decisions on who we don't want to talk to and approach.

Even though there are I'm certain many more factors than just looks involved when it comes to this split second decision making. Looks and how one carries themselves play a major role. We make all sort of decisions/assumptions about another person just by looking at them ....without even getting to know them or speaking to them. So while most of us don't like to be judged and also say we try not to
judge those around us ....when it all boils down to it we all do it all the time. We hate to admit it ....but that is the truth. No matter how much one argues about superficiality and shallowness .....we have
been judging one another as long as humanity existed in some form or another. This just evolved and encompassed few different components to it as the time went by.

I'm not saying you should become insanely superficial and go from one extreme to the other. Neither one is healthy for you on any level. But what I clearly am saying is to take pride in who you are and do take care of your self as best as you can. That includes fashion and other superficial components yes, but also your health, physical and mental state you are in. You should never compete with or compare yourself to anyone else. Because while we are all so similar in a lot of things we are also so very different. The only person you should compete with is your yesterday's self. You should always
strive to be better than you where yesterday. That should always be your motivation and goal - self improvement and empowerment.

When you do focus on improving on areas that need improvement, you become more positive about
the progress you are making. It almost has a chain reaction effect in a way. You start putting distance overtime with everything and everyone negative. You start loving yourself and who you are
becoming. All this makes you want to put even more effort into yourself .....which results in more confidence. You become happier, more satisfied with life you lead and person you are becoming and carry yourself with pride. In turn, others around you sense that. We all are attracted to these traits and behaviors in people. We all want to be a part of it.  There is nothing strange about that at all.

Pretty soon you won't care if anyone likes/dislikes you. You won't care if and when you are being judged. All that won't matter. Do you know why? Because knowing you love yourself no matter what
will be enough for you. To be very honest, it's really hard to love yourself and be proud of yourself when you don't feel good about who you are. So it is not easy to reach there, it takes some time, whole lot of honesty with oneself and work....lots of work :). Yes, people will still judge you left and right, however you will not mind as much any longer because you will know that each day you put your best self out there for the world to see.

You see, fashion, style  and beauty should not be about only vanity and turn you cold, judgmental, heartless and materialistic. These should however, be used to your advantage, as few of the tools for expressing your creativity and showing the world around you what you are about in a positive beneficial manner. These should not be used to cover up your insecurities but to improve area that you consciously know could use a little help here and there and not be about hiding and covering up because that projects our insecurities to everyone around us.  We all have "flaws" we feel less than
great about. The reality is though, those things we see as "flaws" usually are the exact things that make us who we are. Unique and different from anyone else. Those might be just the things people are attracted to about us. So why would you not work on them, improve them and be proud of them everyday because they are a part of you?

As much as this all sounds downright cheesy to some, I'm being very serious here. It is important to recognize that we are all beautiful in our own special way. It's is extremely important to love and appreciate the person you truly are. It is important for your overall well being, confidence and ultimately happiness. Personally, when it came to my own self I think I haven't really grasped the importance of that concept until few years ago. Around that time I did start to realize some things as I became more older and mature, right around the time I was close to becoming 30. I think it's hard to achieve this while you are younger because you are still trying to figure out who you really are. Nonetheless, it is possible. Changing your mindset and the way you see yourself is the key here. Fashion, makeup and style can always transform you and the way you and everyone else sees you into someone even more beautiful and positive while still allowing you to be yourself. You are not required to turn into someone completely different (unless that is what you want for fun :). You are still allowed be you ......that is the best version of you. That is the power of it all that I absolutely love.

It is sometimes very hard to step out of ourselves and our lives to see the things other people notice about us. I cannot stress enough just how important it is to really understand where we need improvement and exactly where we are being completely unrealistic and unfair to the person looking back at us in the mirror  ....and take action. Because what we put out there we also attract. Ultimately fashion, style and beauty should be used to look your best even when on the inside you are still work in progress. You are so much more than looks! Always remember that. But if the world is going to judge you by your looks because that is the first thing they see about you, make sure that who they see is someone unforgettable.
Take care,
Laila